Boundaries
To begin with, let’s talk about something incredibly important. Let’s talk about boundaries.
Whilst we have to say that the majority of films and actors never have problems when it comes to intimate scenes, occasionally some actors will find themselves in a situation where they feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.
This happens because they are asked to do something which takes them out of their own personal comfort zone.
So to try and avoid any potentially awkward situations in the first place, it’s good to establish right now where your boundaries lie.
Basically speaking there are two sets of boundaries you need to consider. One is external and comes from the country and culture you’re in. And the other is internal and comes from what you, as an actor, are willing to do. Either way, you need to know about them.
External boundaries
The first set of boundaries come from the state.
Since the very earliest days of cinema there has been kissing, nudity and varying degrees of sex on film. However, a number of countries (notably the USA) brought in censorship during the 1930s and intimacy all but disappeared from the screen in those places.
From the 1950s onwards, however, sex has returned to the screen in many countries and it is now fairly commonplace. (It even returned to the US although it’s still perhaps less explicit or accepted there than it is in Europe.) Since the late 20th century of course those boundaries have been pushed even further and in many countries there is almost no limit as to what can be shown on the screen in mainstream films.
But having said this, there are still many countries with very strong state censorship and showing anything but the most chaste of moments is taboo.
“I made a Bollywood film a few years ago. In that I was supposed to have a bedroom scene with my lover. I was very surprised at how chaste the whole scene was! We couldn’t even kiss on screen and certainly we were well covered. In the end the censors asked the producers to cut what seemed to me to be totally innocent moments. I’ve seen more flesh and intimacy at a family beach than I saw that day!” Andrew T.
This isn’t a problem for most actors but bear in mind that if you are filming in a foreign country you may not realise that what you consider innocent and acceptable may not seem so to the local residents.
In 2007 for example, Richard Gere was heavily criticised in the Indian press for publicly kissing Shilpa Shetty, the actress. Effigies of Gere were burned in public and a court in Jaipur issued an arrest warrant for the pair.
So here is our first piece of advice: Although it may sound obvious, if you are making a film which contains an intimate scene confirm with the director first, that what is being depicted is acceptable under the laws of the country where you are filming!
Personal boundaries
But perhaps even more important to observe are your own personal boundaries as an actor.
Every actor is different. What one actor is happy to do, another might refuse. One actor could be happy kissing passionately but unhappy taking off their top. Another could quite happily walk around the set naked but another actor might refuse to even appear in their swimwear.
But what about you? What are you happy doing? How far will you go and still feel utterly comfortable?
It’s very important to know the answer to this question and to work out your feelings right now before there’s pressure on you to do something which you might well regret later on.
So before going any further, for now simply look at the questions below and spend a little time deciding for yourself what are you willing and happy to do on screen:
How do you feel about these? Think about each of these questions and give yourself a Yes or No answer for each one. (You might like to write down your answers as well as it gives you a firmer clarification and helps settle the matter in your own mind.)
- I’m happy to appear in my swimwear.
- I’m happy to appear in my underwear.
- I’m happy to appear topless.
- I’m happy to appear fully naked.
- I’m happy kissing another actor (without tongue).
- I’m happy kissing another actor (with tongue).
- I’m happy doing mild sex scenes (light petting).
- I’m happy doing strong sex scenes (heavy petting).
- I’m happy doing full sex scenes.
- I’m happy doing naked scenes with another actor.
- I’m happy doing group sex scenes.
- I’m ok to do violent intimate scenes.
- Then think about these same questions but with both same-sex and opposite-sex partners. Does that make a difference?
It’s important to remember here that no one is judging you; no one is telling you what you must or must not do, what you can or cannot do.
It is your decision and your decision alone.
Forget what your mother might think or your partner or your children. You do exactly what you feel comfortable doing.
And the reason for working out your boundaries now is simple: once you have decided on your limits and set them it is much easier to think about work and decide what to do later in the process.
For example, if you see a casting which asks for same-sex kissing and you’ve already decided that you’re not comfortable with that then fine, don’t apply.
You won’t waste time over deciding and you won’t worry after whether you’ve made the right decision.
No, it’s already been decided.
And of course, once you’ve set your boundaries then the most important thing is to NEVER let anyone push you into doing something which you are not comfortable doing.
It’s as simple as that!
