Sex, Intimacy & Actors – an introduction

Almost every mainstream film made these days contains at least one scene involving intimacy: kissing, nudity, some form of sex.

It might be just a quick peck on the cheek, or it might be a character climbing topless out of a swimming pool, or it might be a full on steamy sex scene. Or a combination of all three.

And if you are a working actor, sooner or later you will likely end up being in some kind of scene like this on film or in some television serial.

The problem is of course that more often than not, the mechanics of filming a scene involving kissing, nudity or sex are overlooked in acting school and we regularly get actors come to us asking for advice on not only how to film scenes like this but indeed whether they should film them or not.

You see, actors tend to worry a lot about kissing, nudity and sex scenes. They often find them daunting and it’s all too easy to end up ruining what should be a professional (and dare we say, fun) experience by over-thinking it beforehand.

So that’s why we wrote this guide.

It’s here to help put things into perspective. It’s here to explain the nuts and bolts of filming scenes containing kissing, nudity and sex.

And it’s here to help you, the actor, make the most of those scenes; make them realistic; and make them memorable for all the right reasons.

Oh, and because we want to cover everything here, this guide also touches on safety and that unfortunate side of the film industry exposed by the #MeToo movement, too.

So we’ll also have some advice for actors on how to avoid the seedier side of things. We’ll talk about being able to spot a dodgy audition, how to avoid a casting couch situation, and then the very tricky problem of keeping your character and yourself separate during filming.

But don’t worry! Filming scenes like these can be great fun and very rewarding and if you are well prepared and go about it in the right way then you can really make an impact.

But don’t take our word for it. Just think about the difference these kinds of scenes made to these actors and these movies (to name just a few):

  • Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain
  • Eva Green, Michael Pitt & Louis Garrell in The Dreamers
  • Catherine Deneuve in Belle de Jour

Not to mention Betty Blue, Y Tu Mamá También, Henry & June, Jamon Jamon, Last Tango in Paris, Abre los Ojos, Bitter Moon, Crash, Don’t Look Now, ¡Átame!, and many, many others!

All these films have gone down as classics and if the kissing, nudity and sex had been taken out of them… well perhaps they wouldn’t have quite made it.

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