Rehearsing & Improvising Intimacy

When you prepare for an intimate scene, you may well rehearse and talk about improvising with your scene partner. In fact, it’s a good idea to rehearse so that the movements are worked out beforehand and everyone becomes comfortable and more relaxed about what is going to happen on camera.

However, when you do rehearse our advice is always do it with a third person there.

The trouble is that if it’s just the two actors together in a trailer then the setting can suddenly feel like it’s moved from being professional to personal. The two of you are there perhaps touching and talking intimately and it’s all too easy for the lines to get blurred and misunderstandings to take place but with a third party there then it remains professional.

Ideally this will be the intimacy coordinator (if there is one on the film) or the director, but if not then another actor or even crew member can be fine. 

(We’ll talk more about separating your personal and professional life later on.)

Suppose, however, that when you work on this scene together, the director decides that the scene should involve extensive improvisation. All of those involved might organise a general approach but you all agree that the actual details will arrive organically as you go through the scene.

For example, suppose you are filming a sex scene which takes place in a car after a couple meet at a club. The car stops at the side of the road and after a moment of tension the couple in the front move towards each other and begin kissing passionately. Then the director might say they want you to undress each other and carry on until they say, Cut.

This is absolutely fine and can lead to some excellent scenes. However, you do need to lay out some ground rules and make sure everyone is in agreement beforehand.

At it’s most basic, discuss with your acting partner how you can kiss (e.g. tongue or no tongue) and which areas of the body are fair game and which are out of bounds.You must both be frank here.

“I’m ok if you touch my breasts and squeeze them – but not hard, I don’t like that. You can touch my outer thighs but nothing more there.”

“I’m fine with most things but I’m very ticklish on the back of my neck so don’t kiss me there; like you I’m fine everywhere else but not between my legs.”

And so on. You cannot afford to be shy here.

And in cases like these then you might want to talk about “signal” words you can use when the camera is rolling without cutting the scene. For example, you could agree with the other actor that if you call them “lover” or “baby” during the shoot it means “back off” and so on or if you squeeze them in a certain way they can go a little further.

The bottom line in all this is making sure all parties are comfortable and prepared before the cameras roll.

Although it may sound obvious, when it comes to intimate scenes, not all actors feel the same way about it. Whilst you may enjoy them and take them in your stride, your acting partner may feel incredibly nervous about them and have spent the previous night unable to sleep through worry.

Or vice versa!

So when you prepare or perform an intimate scene you need to remember this and be utterly respectful of your acting partner.

“I’m always very aware when I’m working with an actor about what I do in sex scenes. I’m always worried that she’ll think I’m trying to get a free feel or something like that. To avoid any embarrassment I will always ask her first and work with her to sort out what we can and can’t do. And then when it finishes I’ll try and make a joke about it, to let her know that I’m not trying it on or something like that.” enCAST actor KC

In practical terms then this means working out with your acting partner what will happen then giving them the time and space to reconcile everything in their own mind. In other words, don’t rush the other actor and don’t ever impose on them.

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